“Enough.” David cries out in Psalm 38. As he puts pen to paper he finds himself completely and overwhelmingly destitute. David feels the weight of shame in the light of the God who knows him thoroughly:

There is no soundness in my flesh
because of your indignation;
there is no health in my bones
because of my sin.
For my iniquities have gone over my head;
they weigh like a burden too heavy for me. (vv. 3-4)

Moreover, he is ostracized by friend and neighbor alike:

My friends and companions stand aloof from my affliction,
and my neighbors stand far off. (v.11)

And enemies, like predators who always seek out the weakest and most isolated smell blood:

Those who seek my life lay their snares;
those who seek to hurt me speak of ruin,
and meditate treachery all day long.
 
But I am like the deaf, I do not hear;
like the mute, who cannot speak.
Truly, I am like one who does not hear,
and in whose mouth is no retort. (vv. 12-14).

Nothing is sound, the center isn’t just failing to hold, it has been ripped to shreds. Perhaps you know this darkness well. This place where everything in your life seems as if it is conspiring to snuff out your very life. And what’s worse, you know some of your wounds are self-inflicted but you feel as if even God is standing at a distance tsk-tsking saying, “See I told you so.”

David, mired in the midnight zone where no light enters, utterly crushed and spent in the tumult of his heart (v. 8). He is terminally sick in his body and yet the more pressing question for David is will this sickness of his soul be denied medical care by the great physician? If this shame will be chronic, he is ready to give in, to let go. In David’s cries many of us can see a mirror held up to our own depression and anxiety. The feeling that it will never end. The obsession with relief, David says:

O Lord, all my longing is known to you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
My heart throbs, my strength fails me;
as for the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me. (vv.9-10).

Yet as the wheel turns on this cruel carousel, David’s one concern, his only resolve is to know that he is not forever forgotten by God. With the last ounces of fight in his lungs, he cries out to God.

Do not forsake me, O LORD;
O my God, do not be far from me;
make haste to help me,
O Lord, my salvation. (vv. 21-22)

We only see this psalm from one side, the side of David’s pain and internal anxiety. But dear reader, we have a whole Bible to listen in on this conversation from God’s side of the line and I want to offer you this word of hope today.

Even if you don’t have any fight left, God is fighting for you.

Even if you feel utterly destitute, God is healing you.

Even if you feel that your shame will ever define you, God is drawing near to you.

Even if you feel forsaken, God is with you.