[Click Here For Part One]
6. Build Sabbath Into Your Ministry
The student ministry calendar is prohibitive, especially if you have a family. Often, there are several nights out each week in addition to whenever your group meets. Everybody involved—students, parents, leaders, you, and your family—benefit from regularly scheduled rest in the calendar. Take a week off from your normal gathering, encourage your students to spend that time having a meal with their families. Spend that time with your own family. Slow down at the end of the summer when things naturally taper off. None of this is rocket science but there is a reason that so many pastors start out in youth ministry and then move to a different role within a few years: keeping up with the schedule is difficult. But it’s not impossible—if you build rest into your ministry calendar.
7. Dig In Deep
[This one is from my beautiful, wise, and brave wife Courtney]-You can’t do this one without committing to #6 above. But once you have established a ministry calendar you can live with, make it a habit of signing a mental contract of sorts, binding yourself to staying in your ministry setting for a certain amount of time. For Courtney and I, we would reevaluate every couple of years taking into account the state of our family, asking whether we were still truly serving the needs of our students, and the state of the church that we were a part of. All of these served as factors for us to be able to say that we would be here until a certain date and then would commit to reevaluating at that point. Once we had prayerfully considered our involvement, we could be all in with our students in a way that provided for slow, steady growth. Longevity in ministry gives you credibility in people’s lives that you don’t have to fight for. You get it just by showing up and being consistent. There is no substitute for trust in ministry and there is no shortcut through the time it takes to build that kind of trust. When possible, stay.8. Parents Need Encouragement Too
Often our interactions with parents are limited to communicating details or listening to the problems they are having with their child at home. Those things are important. But just as you should encourage your students regularly and verbally, you should also tell parents the things that you see in their kids. It’s not fair, but parents often get the worst of our students and we often get the best of them. When you see those glimpses of what God is doing in their life or the young woman or young man that a particular student is becoming, tell their parents. Your words will often fall upon the ears of people who feel like they have no idea what they are doing and certainly no confirmation that they are getting through to their kids in any way. One I found helpful in this regard is, Like Dew Your Youth by Eugene Peterson. You can purchase it by clicking the link below.
9. One Is The Only Number That Matters
[Also from Courtney] I was recently out of college, spending four year studying the Scriptures, loaded with information and exuberance to share with this new group of students I was going to be leading. I prepared my talk for the entire week leading up to our Sunday night gathering. I had so much to say (so I thought), all I needed was a group to share it with. I had so many visions of kids hearing what I had to say, surrounding their lives to Jesus, laughing at all my jokes, and thinking, “Wow, I never knew Jesus was this good.” Sunday night came, my first official gathering as youth pastor, and six kids showed up. Turns out, it’s kind of awkward to preach a long sermon to six kids. I was flustered by the difference between my expectations and reality and so I completely scrapped what I had planned, dejected by the small crowd. I thought to myself, “I will give them the good stuff when more of them show up.” But here’s the thing, it kept happening. Week by week, six kids here, maybe eight kids there and I would just kind of get sucked into the malaise allowing the environment to influence me rather than vice versa. About six months in, we did an event where only one (ONE!) kid showed up. I had five adult leaders there and one kid. I was completely convinced that I should quit but in that moment I felt the Lord speak to me as clearly as I ever have, “Ian, that one matters to me so it better matter to you.” Instead of canceling the event and sending everyone home, we all hung out and laughed together and I, for the first time in my ministry, understood the story Jesus tells of the shepherd leaving the ninety-nine to find the one lost sheep. That was one of the early turning points for me, not allowing the size of the group to determine how I interacted with them or my vision for their lives. It wasn’t until I began to give all of myself joyfully to whoever happened show up that anyone actually started showing up. Whether you have a group of two-hundred or a group of two, one is the key number. Go after the one.10. I Will Be In Your Life As Long As You’ll Have Me
Youth ministry is, by design, a seasonal ministry. But the relationships you build don’t have to be. Your interactions with your students will change, you may be separated by long distances, but I would encourage you to continue to make yourself available to your students long after they are under your care. I say to our students, “I will be in your life as long as you’ll have me.” I am not over-promising anything or taking responsibility for their spiritual growth throughout the remainder of their life. I am simply acknowledging the value of the relationship that I have built with them, honoring their impact on me and mine on them. Seasons will change, relationships will lose the immediacy of proximity but for many students, they follow Jesus because they saw something beautiful, something true in the lives of the adults that invested in them during their teenage years. This is certainly true for me. One of the greatest joys I have experienced has been growing in my friendships with adults who used to be my leaders and seeing students that we used to shepherd grow into true friends.